One person can forgive another unilaterally — but to heal a relationship takes both.
I happened to be visiting Sumatra three or four years ago when the men there were engaged in an annual custom. I saw it firsthand and didn’t know what was happening at first. A young man who worked in my hostel was sitting playing the guitar. Another local man came in, and the guitar player broke off and greeted him.
The two men talked seriously for a while in Bahasa Indonesia, and then they shook hands in what appeared to be a meaningful ritual. The second…
Fear doesn’t have to be a killer. It doesn’t have to drive us over the edge.
When people hear that I’ve been traveling for the past four years, they’ll usually ask me two questions. First: What’s your favorite country? I never know how to answer that one. I love them all.
The second question tends to be: Weren’t you afraid? That’s easier to answer: Yes. Of course.
But the truth is, I don’t think travel is any more frightening than everyday life. Just being alive is terrifying. It’s why we work so hard to create stable, safe lives for ourselves…
For this post, I’m happy to have the opportunity to lift up someone else’s work.
Cornelius, the Roman centurion who was present at Yeshua’s death, has written a fascinating and moving blog post exploring the meaning of Easter, and how and why is has become what it is today.
Cornelius is really doing something even bigger in his post — he’s outlining, very broadly, the history of Love and Truth on Earth.
He asks how it could be that newfound truths — about life continuing after death, about the potential for a personal relationship with a loving God, and about…
I’ve just returned to writing on Medium after being away for a long time.
As I’ve considered what I want to write about, I’ve asked myself what’s really important — to me, and potentially to readers?
What’s worth taking the time to write and read about?
What more than anything else do I want to give my time and attention to — and ask readers to do the same?
I don’t think it’s beautiful walking tours.
The 20-minute walk to the bay of Tagarete takes you through hilly countryside and then opens out on the windswept slopes near the shore.
The bay of Tagarete lies on the north shore of Santa Maria, the southernmost and easternmost island of the Azores. The path to get there begins among a few houses — a little settlement where there’s a bus stop (Feteiras de Santa Barbára). A 20-minute walk takes you through hilly countryside and then opens out on the windswept slopes near the shore. …
As a white person, Black history is my history — it’s our history. Black history is American history.
Last winter, I got to have the “math” talk with my 12-year-old niece, Phoebe. She was going over her class schedule for the spring and, like probably every 12-year-old on the planet, she was complaining about having to take math. Didn’t see the point. Math has nothing to do with her life, she said.
I don’t think she realized she was complaining to the wrong person.
What I told her was, I get it. In your life, you have no use for…
Equating self-care with entertainment or temporary fixes makes light of women’s real needs.
Please understand, I’m not belittling spa days and chocolate. I love them too.
I’m saying that we need a clear concept of self-care for women.
We need to understand our real needs. We need to know that chocolate, while delicious and fun to eat, does not in any way meet our needs. Spa days can be one small component of a fulfilling life, sure. …
AKA: Captain Obvious, Superhero
To be useful, you don’t have to offer new insights all the time.
And in fact, they can backfire.
Writing for MIT Sloan Management Review, Adam Grant — host of the WorkLife podcast — points out that just because people know something is true, that doesn’t at all mean they practice it.
Everyone knows exercise is good for you and they should get a good night’s sleep. Those are ancient insights. But do they do it?
People don’t necessarily need a constant stream of new insights. They need help motivating and implementing what they already know.
Self-care is a key to happiness, health, integrity, and good relationships. But it’s common to resist it — either feeling that other people are required to meet your needs, so that you don’t have to, or, on the flip side, feeling undeserving of or disconnected from your own needs.
Self-care means taking responsibility for knowing and meeting your own needs, in every area of life — physical, emotional, spiritual, social, financial — not just for bare survival, but for growth and fulfillment.
Self-care isn’t selfish — only an abuser would say that it is. Self-care recognizes that all people are…